Wednesday, 30 March 2016

To those who interfere

What is that?
That, there, sticking into my business?'s your nose! Well, how very rude
Your opinion? I couldn't care less
I don't need to hear your views.
In fact... what is that behind you?
Oh! It's your life
Why don't you look at that instead?
Keep out of mine
and stick your nose, where the sun doesn't shine.

The Shadow in my life

There's a person in my life, who hangs like the shadow of an unwanted guest at a funeral. You can't ask them to leave, you feel obliged by them, but also at certain moments, you need them. You resent needing them but you always will occasionally.

This shadow follows me, it lingers in areas of my life I have left behind while trying to influence those decisions I have yet to make. It tries to hold me back in the darkness of the past, keep me frightened of the creature under the bed. It needs me to need It.

I feel suffocated and angry, because I need to breathe. This shadow haunts the doorsteps of those around me, sneaks distrust and ridiculousness into their words. I feel guilty for growing up. I feel wrong for standing alone. They don't understand. They pick and choose what to see and hear.

I can't pick and choose. I love this person like one loves a favourite old teddy bear, you used to need it, you couldn't imagine a time you'd be without it, but time has gone by, you've grown up. You leave the teddy behind, though you still hold it affectionately in your heart, you don't want it with you now. So the teddy becomes the shadow, the creature under the bed, grappling at you, trying to snatch you back.

You can't go back. You can't stop growing up, especially when it happened several years ago.

The Home of your arms

I don't know where it comes from
this feeling, that I have to fight
they push and pull, on and on
because why should I be right?

My choices are my own now
my life is a scrapbook to fill
and yet hands, not my own
turn pages at will.

They'll lose me, you know
they all will
because I wont give this up
this feeling of belonging
in the home of your arms that you've built.

The world can burn away
to ashes and dust in the sky
I'll never want for anything more
nor be tainted by guilt
so long as I can stay here
in the home of your arms that you've built.

Sunday, 20 March 2016

I will follow you

I think about you all the time, from the moment I wake up until I sleep you plague my mind. I'll find you walking into my thoughts intruding on ideas and problem solving to just look at me with those brown eyes and send a hot flush racing towards my heart. When we're apart I count the passing time like precious rain drops that don't reach the desert sand.

You are the vessel that holds my happiness.
I don't think many people around us understand this. They don't know what it is to be You and I. Me and You. Together.
I don't understand it either, I just know that you're my favourite person, I can't look at you without thinking this, and I've never had such a good time as when we're together. All the things we do, all the experiences that are binding me tighter and tighter to you. I've never been so happy or had so much fun.

I was thinking about this the other day. Turning it over in my mind as I sat on the bus.

I would follow you anywhere, leave everything else behind.
There's nothing and no one that could hold me back.

If it's into a black hole in the depth of space, or just half way across this world.
If it's only you, stood with nothing but the clothes you are wearing, I would follow you.

You know this already...don't you? And despite this, you still ask me where I want to go?